A friend lent me a car for a week. She dropped it off at the house one Friday evening; her husband handed me the key and they drove off together in the twilight. The next day, I stayed at home to get caught up on my homework. I got a phone call from an acquaintance (I’ll call him “Dudly” or “Dud,” for short) that afternoon. I let him know that I had a car in my possession, and he asked me what make and model the car was. The car owner had told me that information before, but it was of little consequence to me; it functioned and it had fuel in it, and it was red. I knew the HISTORY of the car, but the make and model? Like I care.
When Dudly asked me about the car, I told him that it was a red car and I didn’t know the make and model. He responded, “No, now don’t get all girly on me that way – don’t tell me you don’t know.” Suddenly he cared more about the car than my sparkling, charming, and delightsome personality. In the moment, I was apologetic. But this situation has been bothering me since.
Does this guy know how to make bread? Does he know why you let the dough rise twice? Has he ever made custard? pie? roasted chicken and gravy? soup? marshmallows, canned tuna, graham crackers, croissants? Does he know how linen is made? The difference between raw silk and organdy? Why bias-cut fabric gathers so much prettier than straight- or cross-grain fabric? What about removing blood stains? What’s the difference between a salad fork and a fish fork? Why do blueberries and blackberries grow so well in moist climates and not that much in arid ones? How do you keep petunias blooming? Is aspirin an antipyretic? What are NSAIDS? Why do girls wear blush? What’s the difference between “hair cut” and “haircut”? Does he know what a possessive plural is? Why do you put a top coat and a base coat on your nails? Who played Mr. Darcy on the BBC version of “Pride & Prejudice”? What is the purpose of pinking shears? Which grocery stores carry Lindt truffles? What are the pros and cons of knitting with wool? How about acrylic? What is the difference between knitting and crocheting? What is the child pose in yoga? Where did yoga even originate? What colors of jewelry wire are available at the craft store? What cream/ointment do you put on a baby’s bottom if he has a rash?
I’m GUNNA get all girly. No, I do not care what type of car it is. And I don’t feel bad about it! Why SHOULD I? I’d be surprised if he could answer ANY of these questions! But until then, I celebrate my femininity. If I knew all the “manly” stuff, what reason would I have for a man in my life? I’m not a guy and I don’t hafta be. I don’t apologize for that. Not even a little bit. He can learn everything about being a girl and then tell me to remember the make and model of some random car someone dropped off at my house.
At the end of our conversation, Dudly said I was fun to talk to (which I already know). Yeah, it looks like my future with this kid isn’t going to go very far. I don’t really mind being single. In fact, it looks better than the alternative to me. Maybe in a couple of years I’ll be old enough to marry one of the widowed apostles.
