Milk

Now, I don't usually drink milk. I find that I feel better if I drink soy milk or rice milk, or just anything that's not cow milk. When I came home for Christmas vacation, my mom got me a half-gallon of Silk (soy milk). I've since used it all up for cereal or using it as a beverage with a meal. No big deal.

This morning I didn't get up early, and everyone else had had breakfast before me -- including Sonnet. She rarely finishes her meal without using up an entire hour or having "coaxing" (in the form of threats -- "Your meal is over in three minutes, darling"), so I wasn't surprised to find a half-drunk glass of orange juice and a bowl with half a Shredded Wheat biscuit, dry. Sonnet also doesn't like having milk with her cereal. Even when she does have it, she reserves a handful of cereal and sets it on the table to munch out-of-hand. She does have eccentricities, so I usually don't think much of things she does.

So, I thought, "Mm, Shredded Wheat sounds good, with a drizzle of local honey on top of it. Mm. Yeah, that's what I'm having for breakfast. I guess if I don't have THAT much milk, it won't hurt my stomach that much." So I got two Shredded Wheat biscuits out of the bag and got a spoonful of honey and proceeded to drizzle honey on top of it. "Wow, how nutritious," I thought, as I remembered honey has healing properties blah blah blah . . .

Then I opened the fridge. Orange juice, buttermilk, sparkling cider, whipping cream, egg nog. Milk? *sigh* Maybe in the other fridge. Soup. No milk. Now, there's a gas station across the street that has milk . . . but I don't want to put on my makeup and shoes and coat to go across the street to get a gallon of milk for $4, which I will only use about 1/3 cup of. So I thought, maybe I won't even bother with the milk; I'll just put the biscuits back. But now they have honey on them. If I leave them on the table, someone will come in and say, "Ooh, honey! Whose hair can I rub it on?" or "Which floor is the cleanest, to drop this on and then run away and act like I don't know anything about it?" I know those very thoughts cross little people's minds. I know it. And, I don't feel good about just THROWING IT AWAY. That's rude. And I wasn't in the mood for rude today, even by my own self.

I closed my eyes in dispair. Then I reached in the fridge for egg nog. I knew I'd hate eating this breakfast today, but I'd gotten myself into my OWN predicament. Arrgh.

I was not disappointed. I recommend NOT having honey AND egg nog in the same spoonful. It's wretched. And I feel kindof dorky even MAKING this recommendation, since who would be foolish enough to even think up egg nog + honey? Many people who read this blog probably even wonder why I'd think up egg nog, because they don't find pleasure in partaking of it.

So, a new recommendation I give unto you, is that you first search the fridge diligently before preparing to feast upon the cereal.